A few years I lost myself in a job that had initially excited and drawn me, that overtime turned to a horrendous experience with a boss who was emotional abusive and made working for him a truly painful and nerve wreaking experience
I had always prided myself on being able to deal with any situation good or bad and suddenly here I was unable to stand up to this person , who was an interesting mix of rudeness, complete lack of empathy and very charming at times.
For a year and half I came to work every day and slowly just lost the will to survive, I gained weight, began to get angry at the slightest things and didn’t recognise myself
One day, on my way to work I decided to speak to someone, and as I told them about this boss of mine they asked me: “So why do you put up with it”. For a moment that question took me by surprise, again she repeated “you are a strong woman why do you put up with this” … and in that moment my mind became unstuck and I realise that my need to be a perfectionist, and to always finish what I had started (pride really) had allowed me to close myself into this uncomfortable space, afraid to move while letting someone slowly chip at my confidence….
So I finally moved out and left all of that behind … and sometimes when I remember the person I was for that year and half, I realise that as human beings we were not meant to be stuck – that stunts our potential and growth. And that we should always give ourselves the gift of freedom