Since becoming a parent they are so many things I worry about. I worry consistently about the future that my children will have in the world. I worry about the judgement that others will always heap on them, in their quests to feel better about themselves and feel superior. How they will try to bring them down because of their differences.
Our current experience of Living with ADHD daily
My eldest son (TheHeir) was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5 years, but I have always known in my heart that we were going that way. He is loving, courageous, intelligent child, who cannot concentrate to save his life. He has the ability to retain the most obscure information but without a doubt everyday cannot find his shoes or his school book. We, as his parents, want him to be happy, to succeed in life and to prosper and to be a child. We want to him to grow up to be a god fearing, with compassion and empathy.
ADHD is not an easy condition to live with. They are many who profess that it is not really a thing that exists, that their grandfathers and mothers beat up their children, and those kids never showed such signs. Or the eternal optimists, who speak in condescending tones, about how children are always busy and naughty, and that it is lazy parenting to attempt the use of medication to help the kids. I listen to all of that, with wonder at how we all claim to have knowledge we don’t possess, at that the more uninformed we are, the louder we want our voices to be heard.
LIVING WITH ADHD
In our case, we made a decision to explore every option available to help our son succeed in school. We were not looking to change his personality, but his own frustrations at not being able to complete certain tasks, or focus for long, needed to be addressed. He is an intelligent child who is very aware of the impact of his actions on those around him, even when he can’t control those impulses. We went through many rounds of assessment by numerous specialists; we attempted various natural remedies and finally decided to go with chemical treatment. I do not regret this decision, as I know we have done and will continue to do the best we can to help him prosper.
So I listen continuously with awe and surprise to people who have no experience on the condition try and speak with knowledge and give advice. These are people who don’t understand what it does to a child with a high IQ when he can’t reach his potential, when he is disruptive and is getting shouted at school, when others kids don’t want to play with him, when he constantly misplaces his things and I can hear him mutter to himself about how stupid he is . We know none of this is who he is, but this is what the world sees.
So I ask you to look at those who are different to you with compassion because you don’t know the things they are fighting, watch your words because they can kill a child’s confidence and love of themselves. And for those who choose to stand in judgement I pray that may you never be faced with being different because you may not have the strength or grace to handle it as well as my amazing son does every single day.
RESOURCES ON ADHD
For more information about ADHD and similar conditions, here are some links below
- How to talk to your family about ADHD